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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 1:08 pm:   

What's the difference between an onion and an accordian?




No one cries when you cut up an accordian!
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 1:13 pm:   

How do you get rid of a drummer at your door step?




Pay him for the pizza!
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 1:15 pm:   

How do you get rid of a drummer at your door step?




Pay him for the pizza!
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Munch
Username: Munch

Registered: 2-2001
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 6:36 pm:   

How do you know when a drummer is at your doorstep?

The knocking gets faster and he doesn't know when to come in!
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Guitarwhisperer
Username: Guitarwhisperer

Registered: 6-2007
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 9:36 pm:   

How can you tell when the drum riser is level?




The drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth!
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Sixvsix
Username: Sixvsix

Registered: 3-2002
Posted on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - 10:23 pm:   

What do you call a Drummer with no girlfriend?





Homeless!

six
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 - 1:00 pm:   

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?




20-- One to hold the light bulb and 19 to drink untill the room spins.



Love the drool one lol!
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Bobzilla
Username: Bobzilla

Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 - 1:18 pm:   

What do you call a guy that likes to hang out with musicians....?



...... a drummer.
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 - 1:25 pm:   

If you throw a drummer and an accordian player off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?



---------who cares!?
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Bobzilla
Username: Bobzilla

Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 - 2:48 pm:   

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead drummer in the road...?

There's skid marks before the dog.
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Chucke99
Username: Chucke99

Registered: 2-2007
Posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 - 4:11 pm:   

Yes, I found that page of musician jokes too. My favorite so far:

How many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Five. One. Five...
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Harry
Username: Harry

Registered: 3-2001
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 2:08 am:   

I´m a bassplayer....I dont get it....

Harry
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Bobzilla
Username: Bobzilla

Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 7:11 am:   

Harry, that's funny. And... where is this list of jokes?
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Talajuha
Username: Talajuha

Registered: 11-2006
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 7:40 am:   

One of them (list of jokes) full of old jokes

http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html

and you find them on many other sites by googling 'musician jokes'.

Juha
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Ibanezfreak1960
Username: Ibanezfreak1960

Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 11:38 am:   

Why did the French Horn players wife file for a divorce?

Because every time he kissed her he tried to stick his hand up her butt.
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Ibanezfreak1960
Username: Ibanezfreak1960

Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 11:46 am:   

Here is a pic to show you all what that joke means....

horn and hand
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Bobzilla
Username: Bobzilla

Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 1:12 pm:   

What's wrong with him sticking his hand up her butt anyways? He should stick his hand up her butt. It's probably why he married her... so he could do that.
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Chucke99
Username: Chucke99

Registered: 2-2007
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 1:46 pm:   

Harry, maybe it could be:

One. Three. Five. Seven. Eight. Seven. Five. Three. One. (with a walking beat)
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 1:56 pm:   

There were two people walking down the street.
One of them was a musician, the other one didn't have any money either.
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Ibanezfreak1960
Username: Ibanezfreak1960

Registered: 3-2004
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 4:05 pm:   

Whats the difference between a drummer and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of 4.
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Guitarwhisperer
Username: Guitarwhisperer

Registered: 6-2007
Posted on Friday, November 30, 2007 - 9:55 pm:   

What's funny is, the last band I was in (ten years ago) the drummer lived with his girlfriend, delivered pizza for a living, and was a beer drinker. I'm not kidding.
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Sixvsix
Username: Sixvsix

Registered: 3-2002
Posted on Saturday, December 01, 2007 - 5:53 am:   



six
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Gemberbier
Username: Gemberbier

Registered: 5-2006
Posted on Sunday, December 02, 2007 - 12:39 am:   

My two favourite Dutch comedians, Koot & Bie, about Nigel Kennedy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pNFz5YdpD4


Ginger
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Guitarwhisperer
Username: Guitarwhisperer

Registered: 6-2007
Posted on Sunday, December 02, 2007 - 1:50 pm:   

Fantastische verzameling, je behoort daar een publieksprijs voor te krijgen !!
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Guitarwhisperer
Username: Guitarwhisperer

Registered: 6-2007
Posted on Sunday, December 02, 2007 - 6:56 pm:   

Actually, I don't really speak Dutch, I just pasted that from the comments section below the video. I was trying to be funny, since this is a joke section. Didn't work....
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Gemberbier
Username: Gemberbier

Registered: 5-2006
Posted on Sunday, December 02, 2007 - 9:47 pm:   

Well, the comment said that the poster deserved a viewers reward for his collection.
Btw, these two comedians deserve a price for their work. There's a special exhibition about their work now.

So far for Nigel Kennedy, "the guy next door with a T-shirt and an oversized blazer... not too oversized, because then his sleeves get jammed between the strings".


Ginger
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Bobzilla
Username: Bobzilla

Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, December 03, 2007 - 1:20 pm:   

GW, my last drummer delivered pizzas too, I swear to God! I just spoke with him yersterday, works at a Deli now but he did deliver pizza for years while he was in the band. He even got robbed at gunpoint (a rifle) delivering pizza one night.
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Tuesday, December 04, 2007 - 2:33 pm:   

Probably by another drummer.
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Hackneyslim
Username: Hackneyslim

Registered: 2-2006
Posted on Tuesday, December 04, 2007 - 4:17 pm:   

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.

h
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Jacko
Username: Jacko

Registered: 10-2007
Posted on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 1:54 pm:   

A guy walks into a guitar store and goes straight to the collectables room. He spots a beautiful AR 5000 sitting on a stand in the corner. He walked over to get a better look at it and as soon as he bends down to look closer..he breaks wind.--He nervously looked around to see if anyone had entered the room and noticed. Just then a sales man entered the room and said, "Can I help you sir?".
Hoping his little "oops" was not noticed, the mand said,"Yes, I was wondering what the price is on this guitar".
The Salesman said,"Mr. if you farted just looking at it, you're going to Sh#$ when I tell you the price!".


(adapted from a diamond bracelet joke)
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Guitarwhisperer
Username: Guitarwhisperer

Registered: 6-2007
Posted on Friday, December 07, 2007 - 10:37 pm:   

That's great! I like the way you "formatted" the joke for the forum!
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Skybone
Username: Skybone

Registered: 3-2001
Posted on Monday, December 10, 2007 - 8:23 am:   

How do you know there's a singer at your door?

Even when you tell him, he still doesn't know when to come in!

How do you know a bass player's knocking on your door?

He's knocking out of time...

How do you know a guitarist is knocking on your door?

He doesn't know when to stop knocking... ;)

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